Having Less is Better than More

Being a people pleaser won’t make your life any better. This will be some therapy writing here, but I struggle with people-pleasing. It’s been a rather challenging behavior to override my brain mechanism for years. The endless need to be accepted has slowly just been making me miserable. Why on earth did I allow myself to be broken? Simple. I had low self-esteem for almost all of my life. The constant comparing, the failures, being judged about everything, rejection, and self-loathing. I could sometimes see myself growing into the Grinch if I didn’t have a small group of friends. Those friends have changed my life for the better. They’re the light of life. They’re the reason why I see good changes in myself.

I probably only have over eight to ten real friends in my inner circle at my age. It’s not a lot, but why should I complain. I dreamed of becoming a beloved celebrity because I was insecure about myself. I wanted to be liked by everyone. By those who didn’t give an ass about me nor knew of my existence. I played against myself by selling my soul to a world that would never understand the core of me. How pathetic I felt every time I would lower my being just to be treated like a joke. People would walk over me and push me around like a toy. Deep down, I knew I was a coward.

A coward who couldn’t stand his own ground in a world that can be ruthless and unforgiving. You can try to be the nice guy, yet it will only lead to misery. People don’t take you seriously when you can’t stand up for yourself. There’s a saying that I try to remind myself that you’re the captain of your own vessel. You can set sail in any direction that will either enhance or cause turbulence in your life.

Having fewer friends that care about you is better than having an army of individuals who won’t fight alongside you when the going gets tough. From my understanding, 99% of people on this planet won’t care about your struggles and problems. That’s just the nature of it. This is why it’s important to treasure the people who have your back through thick and thin.

You shouldn’t feel ashamed for having fewer friends in your inner circle. It’s much easier to manage your relationships while making time for them also. Life is short when you realize how old you’re getting each year. You have to understand the value of time. The time you have should be used purposely. Especially with the right kind of people who make a real difference.